Inspiration

Motherhood's Secret Reward

By Karen McNally

Inspiration

Everyone knows that mothers give, give, and give. We moms give our time until we don't have any left. We give our patience until we don't have any left, and we give the money out of our wallets until we don't have any left! But what do we get? Have you ever tried to dig into that tough question?

When a baby is born there is generally joy and congratulations. Everyone is so happy for you. How wonderful it is to have a baby! Moments after the infant is born, we start focusing on all we have to do for this tiny being. We change diapers, nourish our wee one and wake up in the middle of the night to do all of this and more.

Years later, we're still feeding and dressing our offspring, plus we're driving to activities, helping with homework and waiting up late at night for them to return from the school prom. Mother's Day comes and we are presented with cards and homemade projects from our beautiful children. Their scribbled crayon notes tell us that they love us and appreciate all we do to take care of them. We are, however, always aware of all we do for our kids.

Yet how often do we stop to think of all they do for us? In Don't Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family, Richard Carlson, Ph.D. talks about this very phenomenon so many of us overlook. "The idea is to see your child not so much as an extension of yourself, or as someone you need or get to take care of, but instead as a human being who is here, among other reasons, to teach you about certain aspects of life that no one else possibly could." I've just recently become cognizant of the ways my own children have made me more self-aware.

For instance, I have a wonderful self-sufficient, quiet son. He seems to need very little. I really think he is parenting himself. He is calm and unflappable, and he gives me such a wonderful sense of peace. Just being with him assures me that everything is all right.

I also have a wonderful, talkative, needy daughter. She has clung to me, called for me, talked to me, followed me and required my attention it seems every moment from the day she was born. It's exhausting! It's frustrating! But she has given me the opportunity to learn patience. And when I stop to think about it, I realize that I have never felt so needed. It's great to feel really wanted.

I have another wonderful child, a happy, singing daughter. She bounces, skips and chatters all the time. Her activity level is exhausting, yet she gives me daily joy. She can bring me back to the light on dark days, if I let her.

So I have come to realize that my children give me peace, joy and a wonderful feeling of being needed. Did I realize all of this when they were four, two and one? NO! I wish I had. My kids are 12, 10 and nine and I just now came to this conclusion.

We all have days when we wonder if we--and our children--will make it to tomorrow in one piece. We're exhausted and often frustrated with being simultaneously pulled in a million directions. Our children are so needy! The next time you're feeling like this, stop and think about what gifts they are giving to you even at this harried moment. Like me, I hope you'll look with gratitude on your children, for they are truly the best blessings of all.

Karen McNally is a wife, mother of three and licensed pharmacist living in Michigan. This is her first published parenting piece.